morning_dragon

This is from Wildfox’s LJ post on 11-13-09

http://wildfox34.livejournal.com/709760.html

“It's right to the point where I'm having a hell of a time getting excited for MFF next weekend. I don't know if the atmosphere for the weekend before the con has felt different or what. I just can't seem to get excited at all about the con being next week. I haven't done much FVS practice or looked over my stuff that I need to complete for MFF too much. I haven't even started to pull out luggage yet, I still gotta get my big tote out in the shed. I'll start packing tomorrow for the con.”

Its kind of the same thing with me.   I have no real movation of any kind about the con. I haven't packed , I haven't prepped the fursuits yet, or puppets, although I am not taking part in the either the FVS or puppet shows so there is no real need to pack the puppets. I have in the past have not felt good at MFF, but for some reason this year its the worse it has been. I have even given thought to putting my room reservation at the Westin up for bid.  Just would have to be at the hotel to check in the winning bidder on Friday morning and there when they check out Monday.  I am not going to do that but, I had that thought yesterday.  No real I want to be there feeling at all this year.  Things that are being done. The top ten that is being sent out on the LJ group. They are just turning me off.  It feels like a commercial. I understand why its being done, its a different approach the standard newsletter approach , but it just feels like a commercial the way it worded the “ feel” it feels like one of those late night commercials. 

The whole con itself is feeling that way , bringing in a an outside performance group for a show,  the size of the con itself, the hotel, and a bunch of things that taken by them self's are very very small and tiny things that you really cant point to , but added up together, is giving me a not so good feeling.  I do not need any con staff replying to me saying well we did this because __________, or well most wanted this …etc…. the con did what they did. that's fine. This is MY feelings, how I am feeling about the con.

I know that some of my friends will be there, OI am hoping that seeing them epically the ones that are not Midwestern furs will bring me out of this mood. I really don't know who of my friends are coming or not at this point. Some I know have to be there, they are staff or GOH’s, but the rest I don't know. Some said they were going then said they can’t now are looking for a room, I don’t know anymore who's doing what.   Hoping that I will see many of my friends will

I know I am not feeling good about MFF by this one thought I had. As many of you know I like balloons, and usually the bear fursuits I wear will have at least 1 and I try to have a lot more then 1, helium filled balloons.  I have had more then one occasion when planning for MFF the thought of “ screw it, I am not having any balloons” come to mind, and even the thought “ screw it, I am not going” as well come to mind as well.

I am still hoping, even tho I am going into MFF with a lousy mood that MFF will change that mood. Weather it be spending time with friends, or being “ attacked”  like I was at MFM , or being given a bunch of balloons, or being able to get something, like a special one of a kind offer for a commission, or being given some free art of one of my fursuits, or anything like that, I am hoping that Come the Monday after I will be in my Happy place .

( The MFF meme )